Anger

I was angry yesterday. Fuming, ruminating, losing sleep, distracted, irritably angry. It wasn’t pretty. Sorry to everyone who had to deal with me yesterday.

I don’t often get quite so angry and I was reminded how incredibly uncomfortable it feels and how complete the hijacking of attention is.

Usually, when I am caught up in anger, I like to meditate. But even meditation wasn’t working. My mind was so focused on the “story” I kept rehashing in my brain, I enjoyed only a few moments of actual mental peace during my numerous attempts at meditation.

So I went to the well. The well being google, of course. I googled teachings on Buddhism and anger. I found an excellent article on Lion’s Roar that reminded me of what I already know (but so often forget) about intense emotions: this will pass. I can attend to the feeling, welcome it, explore it, and let it pass on it’s own. I don’t have to get caught up in the “story” or in planning the perfect revenge scenario. I can just let my emotions do what they always do with or without my input: arise and pass.

So that’s what I did. I welcomed my anger. Let it know it was welcome to stay awhile and that I would attend to it. I examined it, explored it, and tried to accept it. I stopped trying to plan my response and just let myself sit with the feelings. And - viola - I slept like a baby last night. And woke today feeling free. Free from anger. Free from the need to be right. Free from needing a plan of any kind. I am free to just carry on with my life.

Whew! What a relief.

And I decided to share these thoughts and some resources for others who might feel trapped in anger. Here is a meditation I created. I kept it short and sweet, knowing that anyone caught in anger would have trouble focusing on a meditation for very long. I also wrote this article for Psychology Today. The article maps out 3 steps you can take to get the most out of anger (there are benefits, I swear!) and to move through the process of experiencing anger with as little harm to yourself and others as possible.

I don’t love anger. I don’t think I ever will. But I do feel empowered to handle anger the next time it comes to visit. I truly hope these resources help you the next time your are storming around under an angry cloud.