The Artist’s Way: Week Two
Another week down in my Artist’s Way journey and I was able to write my morning pages every day! It helped that we were on vacation and our schedule was more relaxed. Also, I let me kids watch TV in the mornings if I needed to in order to finish up writing (please don’t judge! I really try not to do this at home.)
This week, I woke up genuinely excited to write. I did worry (almost every day) about boring my journal because all I had to write were the mundane details of my fairly boring life as a mom of 3. But I believe that’s part of the point - to let that internal critic who tells you you’re too boring to be worthy of putting words to paper quiet down. And she’s still there rolling her eyes at the things I ruminate over, but at least her eye rolling hasn’t slowed my momentum for the morning pages.
I was a bit skeptical and puzzled when she cautioned about steering clear of “crazymakers” in your life during week two. These are, as Julia Cameron puts it, “personalities that create storm centers… they like drama… they discount your reality… they are expert blamers.” She explained that these people are destructive to creators and, like other friends who are blocked creatives, may try to sabotage the efforts of someone working on creative recovery. I read through this chapter trying to think who could fit this role in my life and came up empty. And then, mid week - BAM - I got a shot of reality in the form of a crazymaking communication from a colleague and friend and I was like “OK, Julia Cameron. You win.”
Cameron predicted this would begin to happen during week two (spot on!) and it was SO HELPFUL to have her explanation about why this happens as I tried to decide how to respond. Essentially, she says that many of us are blocked creatives and we consciously and unconsciously collude to keep each other blocked because it feels safe. When one among us starts to get unblocked, it’s threatening to the rest and they often try to sabotage the creative recovery process of the renegade creative. Crazymakers are a special breed of saboteur who thrive on drama and power dynamics and they create a sort of codependent relationship with the blocked creator. We, as recovering creatives, may be tempted to retreat to the comfort of the familiar blocked world we know when we are met with resistance from the people in our lives, even when we know it’s dysfunctional. With all that in mind, I was able to see the situation I was in with clarity and understanding. I responded authentically and powerfully and just owned my prerogative to do what I want and not explain myself to anyone. And it felt really good!!
My artist date was to a Vegas variety show. It was entertaining and thought-provoking. It was intriguing to think about all the talented people out there - the incredible athletes and performers - who do their Vegas routines night after night, in relative obscurity. And it made me wonder if those sad people covered in blankets with their carboard signs on the Vegas walkways are performers past their primes. Did they used to headline nightly shows? It was interesting to think about, if a bit depressing. In fact, Vegas was kind of depressing, if I’m honest. It was lovely to be in the desert and to feel the sunshine on my skin. But my time at the strip (perhaps in part because I was stone cold sober the whole time) left me feeling a bit sad. Thoughtful and a little sad. I’m not sure if that’s the desired emotional experience for our artists dates but that’s how it went for me this week.
See you next week with some reflections on week three!
